Free Online Proofreading

Statement of Purpose by aakash

I would like to paraphrase first paragraph and reduce the length of whole passage by 200 words. If you can suggest something it would be of great help to me.
Personal statement
103 Suggestions by hicham



Computer has always been a powerful machine since its birth. There is a vast development in computer from its formative days. It always stimulates and appeals me because of its boundless possibilities and instant outcomes. In my belief, to keep one abreast of such rapid changes and limitless objectives one must have a perpetual learning attitude. As an experienced working professional with  undergraduate qualification in computer science, I am very excited at the prospect of devoting my long-term career to such a dynamic and fast-changing field. I think Master’s in Computer Science will give my career the right direction of becoming a research professional at research-oriented, commercial or academic organizations.


The field of computer science has always inspired me. Computers, these powerful machines, are in a continuous improvement since its formative days. To be aware of the updates, the one must have a perpetual learning attitude. Hence, as a  professional person and an experiencer, I think Master’s degree in Computer Science will give my career the right direction of becoming a research professional at research-oriented, commercial, or academic organizations.


When I was in grade 7, my father bought me a computer as an entertainment device, but I used it for making simple HTML web pages, distinct shapes using LOGO (programming language) and Microsoft Office, which seemed captivating to me. Due to my predilection towards the computers field, I chose “Introductory IT” as an elective in secondary school, and I performed well in it by scoring 94% marks. In my senior secondary schooling, I opted for science stream having core subjects (Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics and English) and my deep interest in computers pushed me to choose Computer Science as an elective subject. During my last years of school, I learned programming languages and created my first full working application. It was a management system for a video library thatwhich spurred my fascination and interest infor computer science and helped me in scoring a whopping 90% in computer science subject and overall of 79.60%. 

I was determined to pursue Bachelor’s degree of Engineering in Computer Science and joined Poornima Group of Institutions, Jaipur, which is affiliated by Rajasthan Technical University. I developed a keen interest in programming, data structures and algorithms, database management and other concepts. In my 5th semester, I joined the Java course at Road Ahead Technologies to gain in- depth practical and theoretical knowledge of Core and Advanced Java. There I created a project called “Banking Management System”, which was written in Java with a blend of object-oriented programming concepts and database connectivity. 

After my third year, I had an opportunity to join an internship in an IT company named girnarTechnologies, where I learnedt Android Technology. I created a call blocking app named “AiOne Call Blocker” as my internship project. The application blocks unwanted calls with a simple click, easy to use and small in size. The internship proved to be a great learning experience and provided me real industry experience. 

In my final year, we had a project, and these training periodss and internship programs facilitated me to create an Android application as my final year project. It was named as “Cloud Shop” (E-commerce shopping Application) which is a workable solution of mixing and matching pairs (Top and Bottom) problem for users of different age groups who wish to buy clothes. It also had some exclusive features which improve sales performance like desired delivery time, full combination look, coupons section, etc. During the same time, I got a chance to delve into subjects like Artificial Intelligence, Mobile Computing, Real Time Systems, Data Mining & Warehousing and so on. All the modules were majorly focused on  thepresent trending IT Sector. I had a great interest in Artificial Intelligence and Real Time System. Data Mining & Warehousing is one of the most important subjects which is now being used in every realm of industry. 

BesidesIn addition to this, I also got acquainted with the implementation of computers in forensic science and presented a talk on Brain Fingerprinting itswhose abstract was published in International Conference on Intelligent Computing Communication and Sciences (ICICCS-2015). 

Simultaneously, active participation in a wide range of extracurricular activities has ensured the all- round development of my personality. I have taken part in cultural activities like group dance, blood donation camps, seminars and workshops and also managed several events in fests. I also handled the role of being the Group Mentor (Project and Workshop) for a year during the session 2013- 2014, a responsibility that included acting as the bridge between the students and the administration, scheduling workshops which may help them to learn new skill, assisting senior representative in his duties and supporting students in the case of any problem. This experience brought to the fore my leadership abilities and helped in honing my social skills. 

After my graduation, I got placed as Graduate Trainee at Computer Computronix, where I worked for 19 months. I It was an opportunity where I can implemented my theoretical knowledge into t   professional world, and I . I had been assigned took  responsibilities of setting up, monitoring, maintaining and fixing shortcomings in the softwares. I had been recognized by my team and clients many times for identifying critical defects and getting it fixed in time. Passively, I prepared for banking services to explore large scale softwares deeply and competed with two million students. My sheer determination and dedication allowed me to join an Indian Government Bank (Oriental Bank of Commerce) as an Assistant Manager. I worked for 30 months, where I served people and made significant contributions in various domains. I had developed some internal projects where one of the projects was based on optimization of documents searching time, which reduced the manual document searching time significantly by the  digitization of available data. During this time, I gained deep knowledge of various types of softwares used in Banks. 


Now, I wish to take the next leap in my career, and this unique course Masters in Computer Science at TU Kaiserlautern aligns perfectly with my aspirations because of its expansive curriculum with courses in programming, algorithms and data mining. I aspire to be specialized in Data Structures and Algorithms and become a specialist in Advance Software Development or a Data Scientist. I always liked to solve real- life problems with my coding skills and this program at TU Kaiserlautern will help me to develop acumen in new cutting edge technologies and cultivate confidence in solving more challenging problems. Moreover, through the well-organized course structure and my graduate thesis, I will get a solid grasp on both the theoretical and practical aspects underpinning the field and will make innovative contributions towards its progress. 


All in all, I believe that my serious intention for study, my strong academic background, my projects, my certifications and my work experience in various areas of Computer Science, and Management will be beneficial for my post- graduate studies. To be a part of your highly reputed institution would give me an opportunity to receive comprehensive education under the guidance of brilliant professors and exceptional teachers. I would regard my admission at TU Kaiserlautern not only as a great honor but also as a great responsibility and challenge to prove myself.

Being eminent in the field of technological research and innovation in the world, Germany is the most right place for me to study. Furthermore, the education system of Germany is excellent along with reasonable in all sorts of ways, and it is a safe and peaceful nation with superb health care facilities. Master’s degree from Germany not only broadens my thinking but also boosts my career and I plan to take what I learn in Germany and apply it in my native country as it has a plethora of opportunities in thein  computing industry.